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what do you do when you're a single mom with no job?

FML! is what you can do lol

im stuck with making decisions of going to work and making no money to pay for childcare that will just rob me blind. i can go to a crappy cosmetology school for cheap and once again NOT learn anything. I can go to an expensive cosmetology school (aveda institute) and pay 19000 tuition in the end vs paying 9000 for one. It's a really good school and it's one of those places where you're basically paying for the name because once you get out, basically anyone will hire you. Down side is that you have to pay 1200 to start. Financial aide does not cover that...so you basically have to be ballin to go there.

everyone wants me to go to college but i dont see a point because i dont want to do that. i will for sure quit and i wont ever have time to do homework with a 19 month old running around. it's hard enough to get anyone to babysit him while i shower...so how the heck am i going to ask them to watch him so i can do homework?

stress city around here... i dont know what to do..sometimes i just wanna move back "home" but where is home? my home town sucks big balls and the people there suck too. it's a place with dead end jobs and where everyone gets pregnant because they're bored. lawrence is sort of my home but i have no friends there. i mean i do but they're going there for school so they never want to hang out because they're always working or doing homework or in school. which is understandable. kansas city was ok. i have a cousin that lives there that i was fairly close with but they have their own lives too. im just lost.

baby daddy is going through a whirlwind of problems too so it would only stress him out more if we moved back in together at this point.

i really want to start cosmetology school so i can learn about cutting hair and making people look pretty...but i feel like i have no support in what i want to do. everyone thinks i will quit.

if it's not one things its another...

i had a bullsh!t interview today too. they only interviewed me because they're required to interview people that send in applications through the website. what a big bummer. i literally almost cried when he told me they had no positions open. after he asked me all the questions i thought i was going to for sure get hired on the spot. he left the room and came back less than a minute later and said they had nothing open... he told me he really liked me and saw i had a lot of experience but really? a big department store not hiring seems unlikely...but i guess if it's a small volume one then i can understand. sigh.

i posted an ad on craigslist as a babysitter but i think everyone else in the DFW metro area has the same idea as me.

blah...some one just send me a million dollars and we'll call it good..thanks! :)

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holy crap i didnt even realize it's been a year since i last posted. i guess i started to post last time i was on and i didnt submit it.

kingston is a year and a half this month!

he talks about a whole lotta nothing, calls every cartoon spongebob, but he knows dora and says that show! he likes micky mouse and calls him spongebob too "baaaabb!" he says NO NO NO NO when you dont let him do something he wants to do! doesnt know what candy is thank gawd. working on potty training but hopefully we start daycare soon and they can get the ball rollin from there.

so since i last posted, i was living in kansas. i am now residing in dallas, texas. actually in a small suburb called sachse. little cow town!

kids change your life so much it's unreal. in 2010 my life was a blur. it was basically didnt exist. i look back and try to remember things and theres only so much i can think of. i had a rough time but i'm hoping that 2011 can bring better things to me. it seems like it has so far. i've had more motivation to get things done and been more positive about outcomes. financially, well thats just trouble as usual but who can expect anymore more or less from it. a year ago, working wasnt even in the picture. hell, a month ago i couldnt have even considered working because i love my son so much and cant bear to leave him with a stranger. but i've been thinking about my old job slangin' cell phones and how easy it was and it made me want to do it again. i need a job, yes. i need money, yes. so why not do something i already know how to do. i hope it doesnt come with ginormous quota's like my last work. it really bit me in the you know what!

so as time goes on i will try to update this more often, more for my benefit so i can look back and read about my life. i will probably begin to blog more about motherhood and all the joys and tips i can offer to people. so if i happen to bore you.. i apologize in advance :)

ps. did anyone receive a ton of snow the past few weeks???? fml!!!

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king is already 6 months old. he has two teeth now, one on top and one on bottom.. and they're on opposite sides! he wont open his mouth for me to take picture but once they are here i'll post pictures.

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Kingston Charles Lee was born on August 12th 2009 at 6:02 am.

Sorry for the long wait!!!!

My early labor started on a Monday when I was having contractions and I didn't even realized it was labor!!! Went to the Hospital on Tuesday afternoon after my doctors appointment again to get checked in - it was about 1pm - walked around to keep the contractions going on.. got my epidural at 8 pm and didnt pop the baby out until Wednesday 6am!!

It was a LOOOONG 3 days and another week too because King was in NICU for his jaundice and he also had some problems when he was born - the cord was wrapped around his neck and it was down hill from there.

He is now 6 weeks old and we are home and healthy as a bee! He is AMAZING!!

Word of advice to anyone who wants babies and is really young .. DON'T HAVE EM!! lmao

Its really as tiring as everyone says.. sigh!!!! Being pregnant I didn't care to go out .. prolly cuz the hormones made me lazy and want to stay home.. but now that I am not preggo I want to go out and play and I gotta carry a babey around! Not so much of a burden because I love my lil mayne but geez!! You gotta carry around sooo much stuff for them!!

Being a parent is amazing.. you learn something new everyday and you've probably never felt a love or bond with anyone before that you have with your child!!!

Heres a few pics

enjoy!!


during photo therapy for his jaundice

Comment! (5) | Recommend! (3) | Categories: labor [t], delivery [t], babies [t]

until baby boy is here. time is going too soon. will post pics prolly after he is born!!

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